CALVING SEASON: THE DEFINITION

SLEEP DEPRIVATION: the condition of not having enough sleep; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic sleep-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime sleepiness, clumsiness and weight loss or weight gain.^[1] It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function.^[2] Few studies have compared the effects of acute total sleep deprivation and chronic partial sleep restriction.^[2] Long-term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals.^[4]

Imagine my chagrin when I read that sleep deprivation can cause weight GAIN! Pffffft! So that would mean that I would have to find the brain power to actually formulate a cooking plan, do the actual act of cooking and then hope to have enough energy left over to stuff it in my pie hole! I actually envision myself some days eating a burger while my head is laying on the table...or floor...David Hasselhoff-style only without the self-induced hangover.

Calving season is both exhausting and exhilarating. There is no way to explain the satisfaction that comes from seeing each calf born. No amount of sleep deprivation can make me too weary to enjoy fruits of my labors. The four hour nightly checks are immediately forgotten. But when these old heifers continue to chew their cud and stare at me like I am a bloomin' idiot every time I stumble through them during the night clad in pink coveralls and jammies with my spotlight in hand I start to wonder if it's worth it.

Men can do all of this and drag their bods back to bed and fall immediately back to sleep. How do they do that? But not I...oh heck no. I get to lie in bed listening to the soft snoring of Bradley and the Darby dog. Happily, most nights, I will dose off after an hour or so of Married With Children re-runs only to wake up shortly for the next check.

So, when I drive the four wheeler down the lane to run to town rather than my pickup or fill the dog dish with hot water or do the same load of laundry two...ok, THREE times because I can't remember if I put laundry soap in I would have to say that SLEEP DEPRIVATION is working for me. And if anyone suggests otherwise (like age and hair color) I may hurt you!