NANAISMS- words whos origin is based on your grandmother/mother's vocabulary.

My positive energy must be at an all time high right now. Having both of my kids home for the weekend was a much needed fix...even better than a box of chocolates. They were in great spirits and made me laugh. I especially enjoyed the sketches and commentary left behind on the kitchen chalk board! Thanks Spencer!!! By the way, your Grandmother had an apoplexy (Nanaism) and yes, people can die from that.

Hayley and Brad baked Red Velvet cake as a "trial run" for my not so annual birthday and Spencer and I fixed the electrical switch on the bulk bin so that it wouldn't run it's contents out on the ground...again. Several of the cows laid down and calved Saturday afternoon while I took my nap and I was shocked to find them when I did my cow check. I should be fired but nobody died and I was there in time to help deliver a twin with a head turned back in a first-calf heifer. I got all of the calves tagged, vaccinated and brought in the next group of breds for the maternity pen.

I hate having twins, especially on heifers but luckily Ginger the wonder Jersey was set to calve. Again, the stars lined up and she calved Sunday evening. I acted quickly and grabbed one of the twins and as Ginger was calving I slathered (that's a Nanaism)the twin in her scent. By the time she got back up she thought that she had given birth to twins of her own. Now EVERYBODY is happy!!! The original momma only has to raise one baby, Ginger gets two calves to gorge on her mega milk factory and I don't have to go out and milk her...although I actually really enjoy it! So life is good, chores are done for the morning and I am going to enjoy a rainy day in the house!

BORED AND PERHAPS A LITTLE EVIL...

It's Friday and I have already worked out, finished morning chores, vaccinated, weighed, and re hooded the new calf,cleaned the kitchen, washed my cover-alls and answered some email. Now I'm bored. The wind chills are pretty spectacular so I really have no intention of playing outside today; cow checks are the only excitement on my agenda.

Bored, bored, bored. Cool, here comes the Fed Ex guy. Hmmmm, too early for a valentine delivery (ha, ha, ha...that's funny, as if) Not really expecting anything except a semen shipment. Eureka!!! Oh joy, the boredom is over! What fun I shall have with the Fed Ex dude. I must be bored if the mere thought of making the Fed Ex dude blush makes me laugh audibly and kind of like the witch on the Wizard of Oz.

Quickly I formulate a plan as I watch from my kitchen window while he shuffles through his cargo. O.k., so here is my plan. I am going to answer the door like a Publishers Clearinghouse winner, screaming with excitement at the sight of the mushroom-shaped tank he is carrying. I will throw my arms around him hugging and thanking him with tears in my eyes (note: he's REALLY nice looking...BONUS!) then I will explain to him that he was delivering the Semen I had been waiting for FOREVER and that I was the luckiest woman ever. Then I would ask him if he could wait a moment while I unloaded the shipper. When I return with the shipper I will say something clever like, " thank you SO SO much and my future offspring thank you too!"

Imagine the look on his face. I can't stop giggling. God I'm bored. Yes, and pretty much CHICKEN too. Today the FedEx dude gets off easy. I will just meet him at the door, giggling like an idiot, and then thank him for the semen!

WHAT IF.... THE LAST LAUGH

Ok so before I get started I just want you to know that I am NOT planning on dying anytime soon. But... IF I do... I want somebody to document the comments from whomever comes into my house to empty things out. I can only hope that whoever it is has some sense of humor or at least understand the life of a cow family. Maybe I am not the only person that leaves things where I do but I am certain, without a doubt, that if my city sister knew what half of this stuff was that she would pass out.

It really didn't dawn on me until today when I was baking in the kitchen and went to grab something out of the spice speed rail that I have on the back of my counter. As I sorted through the spices I grabbed a half used bottle of Estrumate. It was right between the Cumin and the Celery Seed. Clearly it had been mis-filed! I didn't use it by the way. I went to the fridge to grab some butter out of the the butter tray and noticed the cysterelin next to the bottle of 5 Hour Energy and pound of butter. Beside the fridge is a hanging pan rack...devoid of any pots or pans but draped with my XL o.b. chain and a rather alarmingly large collection of orphan keys.

Beside the fridge are three...yes THREE spotlights. It's like the three bears house. One is too large, one is not working and the smallest is JUST RIGHT. OMG...I must be a hoarder!!! And the cords!!! There are cords EVERYWHERE...spotlight cords, phone charger cords, ipad cords. At least I have them all labeled. Oh yeah, and then there is the dremel charger for the dremel that I use to trim Darby's nails. (No, not my nails!)

So I am sure there will also be comments about the boxes of syringes and needles that I keep in the cupboard. I suppose it does look a little suspicious but if they find all of the donor drugs first I guess it really doesn't matter what they think about the syringes.

And finally, I guess that even I would have to admit that the spare bottle of O.B. lube under the kitchen sink is a little bizarre. Honestly though, when it is all said and done, I should get the last laugh.

CALVING SEASON: THE DEFINITION

SLEEP DEPRIVATION: the condition of not having enough sleep; it can be either chronic or acute. A chronic sleep-restricted state can cause fatigue, daytime sleepiness, clumsiness and weight loss or weight gain.^[1] It adversely affects the brain and cognitive function.^[2] Few studies have compared the effects of acute total sleep deprivation and chronic partial sleep restriction.^[2] Long-term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals.^[4]

Imagine my chagrin when I read that sleep deprivation can cause weight GAIN! Pffffft! So that would mean that I would have to find the brain power to actually formulate a cooking plan, do the actual act of cooking and then hope to have enough energy left over to stuff it in my pie hole! I actually envision myself some days eating a burger while my head is laying on the table...or floor...David Hasselhoff-style only without the self-induced hangover.

Calving season is both exhausting and exhilarating. There is no way to explain the satisfaction that comes from seeing each calf born. No amount of sleep deprivation can make me too weary to enjoy fruits of my labors. The four hour nightly checks are immediately forgotten. But when these old heifers continue to chew their cud and stare at me like I am a bloomin' idiot every time I stumble through them during the night clad in pink coveralls and jammies with my spotlight in hand I start to wonder if it's worth it.

Men can do all of this and drag their bods back to bed and fall immediately back to sleep. How do they do that? But not I...oh heck no. I get to lie in bed listening to the soft snoring of Bradley and the Darby dog. Happily, most nights, I will dose off after an hour or so of Married With Children re-runs only to wake up shortly for the next check.

So, when I drive the four wheeler down the lane to run to town rather than my pickup or fill the dog dish with hot water or do the same load of laundry two...ok, THREE times because I can't remember if I put laundry soap in I would have to say that SLEEP DEPRIVATION is working for me. And if anyone suggests otherwise (like age and hair color) I may hurt you!

PAY IT FORWARD

Ok, this is a little off the definition theme but I just wanted to make a comment about how sometimes the simplest comment can really have a good...or bad influence on somebody. A good friend of mine stopped by the farm a few days ago and commented that he missed reading my blogs and that I needed to get back to writing. I honestly couldn't believe that he followed any of my blogging. It made my day. Not that my blogging is driven by other people's responses. Honestly I don't care if anyone reads them. They simply make me feel good and hopefully make somebody think outside the box once in a while. But when he commented about my Blog it made me feel wonderful. I don't think I can ever make him understand what that meant. It honestly was such a simple way to make somebodies day. I hope that I can return the favor or make somebody feel just a little better today by something I say. Remember that today and PAY IT FORWARD.

PROCRASTINATION

pro·cras·ti·nate (pr-krst-nt, pr-)

v. pro·cras·ti·nat·ed, pro·cras·ti·nat·ing, pro·cras·ti·nates

v.intr.

To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

v.tr.

To postpone or delay needlessly.

What a great way to start off Monday! My house needs a serious overhaul top to bottom and the sheer magnitude is overwhelming. I don't seem to be lacking motivation...I just don't have it as high on my priority list today. So am I a procrastinator? 1. I have already had my morning workout at the gym. 2. Chores are finished, cows have been checked twice and the wandering calf has been returned to momma. 3. I have had my morning cup of tea/caffeine and the pooches have savored their treats. 4. I have sent all of the correspondence that was required of me today. 5. I am ACTUALLY doing my blog! So, perhaps I am not a procrastinator by definition. I don't make a habit out of it and I can't say that I am being lazy today. SO WHY CAN'T I GET MY CLEANING ATTITUDE IN GEAR?!

OK, so I have four main areas that need a cleaning overhaul. Is there any reason that I can't just tackle them one day at a time? Sweet Jesus! (hey, that's a song!) Then it won't be so overwhelming. Or perhaps I just need some stronger motivation? I could get cleaned up and go to town for some serious Java infusion and possible that will just get my jiggy going and I can tackle the entire job. Or I could just sit here and blog all day until it's too late to get anything done. Too hell with it. I think I will just go find Mr. Clean and get down and dirty with him!! Look out kitchen...here I come!!!

2012: Definitions

CATHARSIS:
ca·thar·sis/kəˈTHärsis/
Noun:
The process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.

I have been away from my blog for quite some time. I tried to blog during our sale last fall but it was almost painful and laborious for me. Some days the thoughts and ideas pour out of me but over the most part of last year the well was dry. I think that over the last few months I have been undergoing a catharsis that has enabled me to view and handle things in my life differently. I sometimes liken it to an awakening of sorts, when you are able to open your mind and soul to focus on the things in life that have always been there but you have never seen or understood. The transitions during this "awakening" seem to go slowly for me and I would have to say that at this point I am actually still a little groggy and trying to wipe off the sleepy dust.

Some things contributing to my apparently ongoing "Catharsis"?:

1. A strict workout routine/diet- I found myself the most fit person in Denison and enlisted his help as my whip-cracking P.T.A. coach (Pain, Torture and Agony) and I signed up for a year membership at the fitness club. I spend at least an hour there every day and sometimes up to two or more. God bless him! He's a rock star.

2. Eating healthier-You seriously need to take some time when you are grocery shopping and READ the labels! It is amazing how different similar items are nutritionally. I gave up deep fat fried EVERYTHING for a month. Yes, it almost killed me but now I can hardly stomach a french fry or a chicken nugget. A donut makes me gag. And sugar...oh sweet sensuous satisfying sugar...well, I have mourned its loss like a dead friend. Not saying that I have given it up altogether but at least I am not eating powdered sugar straight out of the bag!

3. Taking time - take time to enjoy the little things, the big things and anything else that needs to be noticed. The cattle won't die if they are not fed a precisely the same time every day. If I die tomorrow they aren't going to put "She was a crappy housekeeper" on my headstone. If Darby asks me to roll with him in the grass in the sun then by God I am going to do it. I am going to skip cleaning the barn today to fiddle with that creative walnut chair project sitting in the shop. Take a day and go spend it with my kids. Take time to just do something special with or for somebody. Take time to laugh...and take time to cry. No regrets-No guilt.

***Above all, take time to let the wounds heal...and take time to understand that it simply takes time for that to happen. Pain itself is cathartic.

4. Picking My Challenges- lowering my stress by feeling comfortable with tackling less challenges both in work and in other parts of life. QUIT TRYING TO SOLVE ALL OF THE WORLDS PROBLEMS AND QUIT TRYING TO DO EVERYTHING! DUH!

5. SAY NO! - It's interesting how my diet has influenced the rest of my life. Not only am I putting smaller and healthier portions of food on my plate but when it comes to my "life plate" I am doing the same thing and it has almost the same result. It's good to clean your plate but it works so much better if you work hard not to over-fill it to begin with. Tackle smaller portions at a time. Oh, you won't believe how much less stressful it is.

I think I shall dwell on definitions for a while. I will attempt add some humor...Juli style. Some days may be a little out there (like today) but hopefully I can bring a little sunshine to your day.