Is it friday yet?

I love my life. All of it; the ups, the downs and the challenges of the entire experience. Keeping it all balanced is an art that can be painful. Today, however, I have had to move the fulcrom extremely far in one direction to keeps things in balance. My daughter, Hayley, is a million miles away in Bolivia and for the first time in almost a year I am feeling the distance in my gut. My "mother" instincts are in overdrive and this is one of those situations that I have absolutely no control of. It's only sixteen days until her plane delivers her back into my nest and it seems like an eternity. She has been very sick for almost two months with a respiratory illness and now her entire body is rebelling. She wants her mother, her REAL mother, and I can't do a thing. UGH!

Today is Spencer's 22nd birthday. I can't bake him a cake, I can't take him out to dinner. He has a wonderful girlfriend, lives a LONG way from home and has a life of his own including bills, debt and a weekly paycheck. He's officially "a man".

Darby has been at the animal hospital since 8:00 this morning. Something happened during the night and now he can only walk on three legs. He is obviously miserable and his pleading doggy eyes just begged me to stay there with him and keep him company. I worked all morning building fence in the pasture so that I can get the cows turned out...or so that I was forced to focus my mind on something else in my life.

It's now 3:00 and I have finished almost a mile of fence. I am hot, sun burned and tired. Still no word on Darby. I don't dare call again...I didn't realize how much I rely on him to fill that void of my "missing" children. I think I will dig out some comfort food, mashed potatoes, from the fridge and watch the latest recording of Cougar Town. Maybe that will kill a little time. You know that Chili's restaurant commercial about their baby back ribs? "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back......NOW!!!

So tonight I plan to keep the decision making simple. My brain has been taxed too much for a hot Monday and I think I should mother it a bit. I see Dairy QUeen on the horizon...and perhaps a special treat for Darby. Tomorrow is another day and with Darby back home I should be able to tackle the week. Sixteen days and counting..."I want my baby back, baby back...NOW!!!!"