Some days are just a battle, more so than others. I guess the same holds true for some years as well. We all hope and assume that when we comment about how bad this year has been that next year will magically be better. How could it be as bad?
I had one of those years two years ago and ironically it was followed by another that was quite possibly worse. My daddy didn't raise a quitter but there were several times that I was close to throwing in the towel. I recall sitting on the step inside the barn one day with my head buried in my hands and sobbing uncontrollably. I was as close to beat as anyone could be. I couldn't take another second of dying calves, bad weather and exhaustion stacked up against all of the other things going on in my life. Something changed in me that day; something that changed me and made me a better person/a stronger person. I guess it was one of those life experiences that defines us a human beings. I look back on that time and that feeling very often. I will NEVER forget how I felt and what it did to me.
What that experience didn't do was break me. I made it into something positive and I think I am a better person for it. Today as I sit here at my desk on a gloomy cold rainy morning eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs I am reminded of those times and what I took away from that experience. I have a good friend that is fighting the same battle that I fought a couple of years ago. My heart aches for her because I understand so well what she is going through, anguish, pain, frutstration, disappointment, anger, fear... and I hope that she will be able to get beyond this and find her soul. Times like these make me understand how precarious our lives are as far as what direction we go and how things in life truly do affect us. I know what kind of cloth she was cut from though. My money is on the girl. She reminds me of me.
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